(Time management, punctuality, etc.)
2nd step of "Keeping" relationship
- Analysis 1 The continuity of a relationship (Am I using English correct?)
As Ms. Wasilewski said in the lecture, the Japanese people tend to perceive that
once a relationship has been established, it will continue forever, or maybe long periods.
This causes the Japanese to be very cautious about not to make disharmonies in the relationship,
which is connected to the implicit, non-verbal, high-context atmosphere that Japanese society makes.
This can be very stressful to a foreigner who came from low-context based cultures. Jin
- Analysis 1 Comparison : The continuity of a relationship, Californians
Easy to make friends, easy to terminate relationship if the person does not get along well with you.
Examples / Actual Cases
- Example 1 ICU student's excuse
The ICU students don't have the time to get in touch with one another because of time constraints.
As in Courtney's point of view compared with UCSD students,
ICU students tend to use their lack of time as an excuse to avoid certain social situations.
(why avoid those situations? An answer may be found in the "relation issues" discussion.) Jin
- Example 2 Physical difficulty 1
Lack of transportation causes problems for ICU students.
As the last train for the Chuo-line is earlier than that of Yamanote line,
and the last bus from ICU leaves before 12pm, they cannot hold parties till midnight.
Also, since ICU is in urban areas, we are not allowed to come to school by car,
so therefore, time restrictions at night will be very severe for us.
(In UCSD, most of the students have cars unless they live really near the campus) Jin
- Example 3 Physical difficulty 2 実家通いproblem
There are many people who "commute" from their home.
Almost half of the students of ICU are from Tokyo area,
and therefore, there are lots of students who's living far away from ICU with their parents.
These physical distances cause some trouble in keeping relationships too.
(it is not as important as example 1, but still it is true i think... and also there is a curfew problem for both living with parents students and dorm students. it prevent us to go out all night staying or it makes time shorter; have to leave before the last train.) -Daisuke
Solution / Recommendation / Suggestion etc.
- Solution 1 Miki
I also think that Japanse style for making friends is stressful. However, this is Japanese style.
This style(and this Japanse society) is based on, made by most? many? Japanese this sense of value.
Japanese change this Japanese sense of value style to California style (everyone is friends.).
This is not solution. Everybody likes this style? This is not.
ICU students also cannot change it. If ICU students change their style for making friends
(California style) in ICU, they would not work at Japanese company or Japanese society.
I think what is important is knowing own style and other style. Both should be recognized.
For example, When I meet コートニー first time, I think "she come from California, so her style may be
'directly making friends style'." At the same time, コートニー thinks that "Miki is Japanese, so she may
contact with me with MAAINOTUMEKATA style." By knowing each otehr style, there would prevent being
a misunderstanding little bit. Thinking about each other style is intercultual communication, right?
In solution,We should not say 'they should change'. We should not deny something. Denying leads opposition.
We may say 'the ways to make friends are different, so let's know many ways to make friends, and then ・・・
（What can we say? 'let's use the way properly' ?)
I thought this yesterday. I am very very sorry too long? Can you understand my English sentences? Miki
- Solution 1 Response : Jin
Ok, Miki, I understand your I idea about not denying someone's styles.
An good intercultural communication can't be established if one side denies the other culture.
Just as Ms. Waslewski said in the previous lecture, what we need to do must be
"mutual understanding 相互理解" to each other's culture.
(Is this what you wanted to say, Miki?) Jin
- Solution 1 Response 2 : Daisuke
相互理解 is inevitable for intercultural communication, however, I think it is just the very first step and we need to go one more step for real communication. If two people from different culture can communicate with their own culture style and their communication is successful just because of understanding each other culture, that is very simple and easy. But in fact, it is very rare case I think; at least most ICU students understand american or europian culture somehow.
Also change my style into other culture doesn't mean change my style completely into other culture, and it is almost impossible i think. In my case, I can switch my style Japanese to English.
Of course we cannot force them to change, but "should do something" can be practical example I think.